Date: 2018-02-11 09:51
Yes, obviously that happens sometimes I never said otherwise. But you 8767 re making definitive declarations about how the friend is going to respond that seem to be coming out of your personal experience rather than anything in the letter.
So. give Best Friend a break. No, she 8767 s not handling it great, but she 8767 s also not handling it wrong. She is grieving and desperate. Hopefully she will come to her senses, but she needs time. She is a victim too.
LW, i am in awe of your bravery and hope you are finding some small measure of comfort in the support and jedi hugs here.
Awesome, glad it was at least a little helpful. Would you be up for reporting back here and letting me know how you end up dividing it after chatting with your partner? I 8767 d love to hear.
Side note: Best Friend is not safe right now. I hope one day she can be safe again, but right now she 8767 s not. Do not share information with her. If she calls to confront you about going to the police, even if she 8767 s understanding/in tears/pulling at your heartstrings in ways that a best friend can because she knows you so well and you 8767 ve shared so much Assume that anything you tell her will be used against you by Predator. For now, at least.
I just want to make this crystal clear: I 8767 m not convinced that it 8767 s better if he 8767 s just targeting you. I don 8767 t know if this is an escalation in 65 years of him stalking you what if he started dating your friend to get access to you? You honestly don 8767 t know, and, I say this with love, but I think as women we are too quick to find reasons not to cut people out of our lives.
Fiance ruined his own life.
Fiance has been doing this life-ruining shit wit impunity to several women he is closest to (including his own partner, what the FUCK. I shouldn 8767 t be surprised but still ), and who knows who else.
I feel sympathy and second-hand outrage for everyone in this scenario EXCEPT Creeplord Fiance. He is not the guy you thought you knew, LW. That guy does not exist. This guy is someone OK with committing a violation of great magnitude and trying to blame innocent parties. He has almost certainly violated the privacy of more people than you and your boyfriend. It 8767 s not as if he was scurrying in and out of the bathroom removing those cameras before anyone else went in there, then setting them up again only to video you, and that would not mitigate what he 8767 d done ANYWAY.
7. You could get a job and you could get a work visa. It depends on what your credentials are and what the job is. I have many friends who are here on work visas, so it is possible, but not easy. If I were you, I would start looking into that now, not when you get here. The process is usually long, so it 8767 s best to get a head start.
Your friend is likely in shock. Be there for her, for sure. But don 8767 t sugarcoat what her fiance did. Don 8767 t sugarcoat how violated you feel. Don 8767 t sugarcoat how much peril he could have put her parents in. Don 8767 t sugarcoat any of it. His actions are not her responsibility but minimizing their affect to spare her heartache will help him in his campaign to minimize what he did and control the narrative. Fuck that and fuck him, right into the center of the sun.